


Pseudologia

by hide_if_you_ken



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Cannibalism, Ghoul Hide week, Hiding, Lies, M/M, OEK Kaneki - Freeform, Trust Issues, cross dressing, cursing, ghoul!Hide, lots of lies, not rlly a kink or anything, well Kaneki goes sasako just for disguise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-31 01:09:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8556805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hide_if_you_ken/pseuds/hide_if_you_ken
Summary: Written for Ghoul Hide week day 6: Emotion/conflict.Kaneki finally has a clue to where Hide might be. However, happiness is not the only emotions that comes with the reveal of his location. Doubt, fear, betrayal, it was unfair of him but these were the emotions that his heart felt.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I lied, I got some inspiration and had to write this. Unedited as always, will be edited when I have the time. Please enjoy, I just wanted to participate in Ghoul Hide week no matter what.
> 
> UPDATE: Miraculously, I already found time to edit this. Enjoy and point out any mistakes I missed; I kind of don't have a beta.

He had searched everywhere for far too long, he finally, _finally_ , has some semblance of a clue.

Furuta, the bastard.

Him and Touka were going through some CCG files one night, papers splayed on :re's counter as their coffee grew gradually colder.

"Who is this?" Touka picked out a picture from the messy table.

Kaneki looked up from the file he was reading. "Ah, that's Furuta Nimura, or as he calls himself now, Souta Nimura Washuu." Kaneki sighed, just the thought of the man brought a sour taste to his mouth.

" _He's_ the Washuu king?!" Touka practically screamed.

"What, that's kind of an overreaction, I don't really give king vibes either, you know." Kaneki huffed indignantly.

"Well that's one thing, but that's not my point!" Touka pressed.

"What is it then." Kaneki questioned, slightly intrigued.

"I saw him before! At Kami. I brushed it off as just another student there but if he's Washuu then.."

"He was at the CCG academy, there's no way he went to Kami." Kaneki finished for her.

"Yes, exactly!" She slammed her hands on the table. "What was he doing there, possibly spying on you?"

"No, there's no way. From the very beginning he had no interest in anything other than Rize. He told me that I was just a miscalculation." Kaneki explained.

"But at that time Rize was in Kanou's possession, whom he was directly connected to." Touka cocked her head to the side, very confused.

"What could he possibly have achieved in Kami?" Kaneki pulled at his hair in thought. "Wait when was this?"

"Around the time you were taken by Aogiri. Oh, I also met Nagachika that day, we talked for a while." Touka searched Kaneki's expression, afraid she might've hurt him.

Kaneki's eyes quickly recovered from the guilt and pain and developed a new calculating light. "What if they were connected somehow?"

"That's ridiculous, that human might have been smart and manipulative as fuck, but he has no business dealing with that Washuu creep." Touka looked horrified.

"Well, it's not fun to think about either, but after hearing about the Washuu branch families I couldn't help but tie it to Hide's mysterious background." Kaneki sighed.

"What exactly do you mean by _mysterious background_?"Touka stared.

"I mean that in all my years of knowing Hide I've never once seen his parents. I went to his house various times but it just never seemed to be inhabited by anyone but Hide." Kaneki explained.

"How the fuck is a kid allowed to live alone?" Touka was sort of fuming at this point.

"I don't know I never asked." He bit his lip, kind of terrified of Touka's state.

Touka just looked at him, her gaze unimpressed. "Wow Kaneki, you just make me feel worse for that human every time you open up."

"I already know, you don't have to point it out." He sighed.

"Anyways, ask that Washuu bastard the next time you see him, this might be a huge clue." Touka suggested.

"Yeah." Kaneki agreed, going back to check out the file in his hand.

***  
"Touka said she saw you at Kami, why?" Kaneki asked, this was between kings. They did these kind of meet ups at request. They both held too much power and they needed to talk sometimes to keep everything balanced.

They both wanted peace after all, no matter how different their methods.

"Woah, seems like you got ahold of something interesting, why was I, I wonder." Furuta tapped his index on his lips in theatrical thought.

"Stop fucking around I'm serious." Kaneki was usually calm on these kind of meetings but this time was so much different. It wasn't about him or the world anymore, it was so much above that.

"Woah, ok calm down. I guess I should've expected this sort of attitude, it is your little angle that's concerned here." Furuta teased.

"So you do know something after all." Kaneki observed.

"Yes in fact, I do." The Washuu king confirmed.

"Start talking then."

"If you ask nicely." A sickly sweet smile.

"Will my kagune through your head be nice enough?" A smile dripping with even more sickly sweetness.

"Fine." Furuta finally dropped the act. "I'll tell you where your angel is, but you tell me where mine is."

"We do love pressing on one another's bruises don't we?" Kaneki's gaze was cold.

"It's what makes this whole act interesting, isn't it?" Furuta shrugged.

"I don't trust you." Kaneki said, short and clean.

"Ouch, but I trust you, 'special wanted criminal HS'." Furuta wiped faux tears from his eyes.

"Exactly, that's why you will tell me where Hide is, the second I confirm it's him I'll send Yomo a message to lead you to Rize." He suggested, or more like ordered.

"You wound me your majesty." Furuta clutched his heart in mock anguish. "However, my hands are tied. I accept your suggestion, you knew I would anyways, didn't you?"

"I did." Kaneki affirmed.

Furuta pulled out his phone and typed out some words, after sending his message the reply was instant.

"First ward, Washuu apartment complex, second floor, room 240." Furuta said, his voice clipped.

"Wa- why would-" he started, a little more than a bit confused.

"Ask him yourself." Furuta shrugged. "Shoo now, get going." He swatted him with his hands.

Kaneki took a deep breath and started walking. He already had a medical mask over his face and his hood was pulled on. He wouldn't look suspicious at all in Tokyo. The first ward, however, was another issue. It was the doves' nest and it was absolutely swarmed with them. He needed to be extra careful.

He went to :re first and thankfully, Touka was there. "Touka, I need your makeup skills." Kaneki requested

"The fuck are you up to." She said, not trusting his decisions one bit.

"I talked with Furuta." Was all he needed to say before Touka took him by the hand and led him to the back room.

"Just don't do anything stupid ok?" She said, her tone worried as she readied her brushes and cosmetics.

"Yeah." He promised, giving her a gentle smile.

"Alright let's transform you into a princess!" Touka snickered as she applied foundation on his face.

After about an hour of chuckles and snickers Kaneki was in his miniskirt and ready to go. Touka kept complaining about how he looked better than her in his black shoulder length wig and soft navy blazer and miniskirt.

"How come you can even walk in heels this well?!" Touka was very irritated to say the least.

"Well this might not be my first time.." he mumbled sheepishly.

"What!" Touka laughed and suddenly it was all teary eyed laughter again.

Kaneki had a very different kind of attention as he made his way to the first ward, but he didn't pay anyone any heed. He held his head high and strode to his destination, his mind too clouded with thoughts of _him_.

He reached the apartment undetected. The irony of the apartment number messed him up a bit, but he was too concerned with other matters to dwell on that fact. With a shaky finger he rang the doorbell.

There were cameras in the hallway and he needed to enter before anyone could notice anything suspicious. This was a special Washuu apartment complex. If Hide looked even the littlest bit uncomfortable he was done for.

That's why the second the door opened Kaneki's lips were on Hide's and he pushed him inside, closing the door behind them. When the door clicked Kaneki locked the door behind him and picked up his phone to call Yomo.

"He's here," he said breathlessly when Yomo picked up. "Washuu's side of the exchange confirmed, proceed to hold up our side of the bargain."

When Kaneki hung up he looked up at Hide for the first time after pouncing onto his face. "It's been a while hasn't it?" Kaneki smiled.

Hide, with lipstick smudged across his lips and watering eyes just stared. For the first time since they met, Kaneki was the one talking when Hide was speechless. "Kaneki...?" Hide said, barely above a whisper.

"I look super cute don't I?" Kaneki winked. In the presence of a silent Hide, he felt like he was the one that needed to make all the jokes.

"Is it really you?" Hide was shaking.

Kaneki's eyes softened and he pulled off his wig. "Yes, it's me." He couldn't believe Hide was in front of him, but Hide needed reassurance so he couldn't be the one to be reassured, even now. He pulled Hide's hand from his side and put it on his chest, where his heart beat steadily.

Hide's eyes quickly flooded with tears and before Kaneki could move to wipe them away Hide's face was already buried in his neck. Kaneki's arms moved to wrap around Hide. Wetness fell down onto Kaneki's neck and down his eyes to Hide's head. The eye makeup Touka spent so long perfecting was probably all a smudged mess by now.

They stayed like that for longer than Kaneki could remember. Even after the tears ceased they just sat there, soaking in each other's warmth. But eventually they pulled apart. Kaneki's apparel was growing more uncomfortable by the second and Hide sensed that, even after all that time he was still observant.

"Kaneki." His voice was hoarse from sobs. "You can go change, I still have some of the old clothes you used to keep at mine." After a second he added, "or you can use mine since you're all ripped now, like damn."

He was back, Kaneki smiled widely at him. "Alright." He mumbled, a bit shy.

Hide waved him off and Kaneki rolled his eyes as he went to change. Kaneki changed quickly, wanting to be with Hide as fast as he could. Thankfully, wiping the makeup wasn't a grueling task, Touka let him in on that using the special wipes instead of water saved a lot of time and effort. Once everything was gone he hurried to the living room, finding Hide in a very stressed stance. Sitting on the couch with his hands gripped tightly together.

"I won't ask anything you're uncomfortable with." Kaneki reassured.

"I feel like we should stop this, where has hiding things gotten us so far?" Hide bit his lip.

"Nowhere." Kaneki agreed. "I kind of put two and two together myself anyways." Kaneki's gaze cast down to the floorboards.

"Are you mad?" Hide laughed humorlessly.

"I would lie if I said I didn't feel a bit betrayed." Kaneki knew how hypocritical he sounded.

"I guess we're even then." Hide called him on his bullshit before he could even let it out.

"For how long?" Kaneki whispered.

"Kaneki I was born a half ghoul." Hide's voice wavered.

"Big girl, was everything just an act?" Kaneki's lips trembled.

"It did taste like shit, but I was enjoying myself regardless. Kaneki I need you to know nothing between us was fake." Hide walked over to Kaneki and gripped his shoulders.

"It's alright Hide I get it." Kaneki said but his tone was not tender at all.

"Kaneki if you're going to act all salty then get out now." Hide growled.

"Hide you practically lied to me my whole life, how did you think I was going to react?" Kaneki defended. "Is Hideyoshi even your name, Washuu?"

Hide looked like Kaneki had just stabbed him, his face twisted with so much pain that Kaneki felt the need to rip off the mouth that uttered the words that hurt him.

"Get out." Hide said, barely a whisper.

"I'm sorry Hide-"

"I always felt human with you. I always felt like _Nagachika_ Hideyoshi when you were around. I'm sorry if that wasn't enough for you." Hide was shaking and Kaneki surged forward to envelope him in a hug.

It hurt more than anything he's been through when Hide pushed him away.

"You're so selfish Kaneki. I put up with your lies for so long. You think I didn't know about how your mother treated you. You think I didn't know about your aunt, about the school bullies. You think I didn't immediately know when you turned into a ghoul, that I didn't know about _everything_.

"Kaneki I always fucking knew and I put up with it. Because I believed that someday you'll confide in me. That someday I'll be important enough for you that you'll share everything with me." Hide was shaking like a leaf on a windy autumn day. Kaneki couldn't even move.

"And now after all of that fucking hiding you're mad at me for hiding my family name. You're mad that I have been hiding the identity I never felt belonged to me?"

"Hide, I'm-"

"You can sleep on the couch." Hide interrupted his voice small. "I'm tired."

All Kaneki could do was give him a mute nod. Hide left him standing numb in the center of the living room.

He didn't sleep, not when he could hear muffled sobs all night long. Not when his own sobs tumbled from his trembling lips all night long.

With morning light came clearance of mind. After collecting their thoughts they both came to the same realization.

"Hide I-"

"Kaneki-"

They looked at each other, all irritated eyes and dark crescents, and laughed.

"Want to have some breakfast?" Hide smiled tiredly and Kaneki looked confused.

"Not only Anteiku knows how to get guilt free meat." Hide clarified.

"Ah alright then." Kaneki conceded.

Hide fished out a Tupperware from the freezer. "All I have is thigh for now," Hide warned.

"That's ok." He didn't say it was his favorite. Hide probably knew. "I thought you were dead." Kaneki said after a long moment of silence as they waited for the meat to heat up in the microwave.

"So did I." Hide said, short and simple. "You were born anew, I knew about Sasaki Haise. I've been imprisoned here since then. Arima came here every once in a while to update me on your situation. Why are you so set on feeling pain. I was fine here, knowing you were content and smiling. Even if it didn't include me." Hide's voice was reduced into a soft whisper by the end.

"Hide.. You gave me that sweet dream. I'm sorry but I couldn't just drown in that dream and forget what's really important. Who's really important." Kaneki, with a warm plate of bloody meat in front of him, reached for Hide's hand across the table. "So you don't know what happened since then do you?"

"What happened?"

"Hide, I'm the one eyed king." Kaneki took in a deep breath.

Hide's breath hitched. "That's not a very good joke."

"Arima is dead. Squad zero is on my side. Everyone from Anteiku is alive... except for the mangager. Hide, every... every Washuu is dead except Matsuri and Furuta."

"And apparently his little brother." Hide sighed, shaking.

"Furuta's?" Kaneki was a little more than a bit shocked.

"Well our family is kind of really complicated, I'm also related to Arima and Rize too, but not as directly as I am to Furuta." Hide explained.

"You're not like a Demi-human are you? Your lifespan I mean." Kaneki bit his lip.

"Well yesterday you scared at least 10 years out of me." Hide joked but then his eyes softened at the concern in Kaneki's. "No Kaneki, I'm not a defect. I was supposed to take over after Tsuneyoshi died. I am kind of the strongest right now." Hide scratched his cheek sheepishly.

"Then why didn't you break out?" Kaneki asked.

"They were holding you against me, the fuckers." Hide's Kakugan activated involuntarily. Kaneki scolded himself for finding that hot, but couldn't help the hand that went to caress Hide's cheek.

Hide relaxed against the touch. "Pretty cool right?" Hide winked but didn't expect the dazed nod.

"Come with me Hide, let's break out of here together. They can't hold me against you anymore. I'm the one eyed king." Kaneki flaunted.

"Calm down your majesty," Hide chuckled. "Who's on now that the perverted old man is dead?"

"A person that used that same description for Tsuneyoshi." Kaneki rolled his eyes.

"Let me guess, my crazy older brother was the one to kill them all as well. Oh and if I were to flaunt my smarts I'd guess he made it out to be your fault." Hide observed in a bored voice.

"Pretty much." Kaneki shrugged, a small smile tugging at his lips. He missed this.

"Alright, fair enough. Let me take another wild guess." Hide leaned closer. "You missed me so much that you exchanged your 'first love' for me." Hide's tone was factual more than anything.

Kaneki nodded, not trusting his voice enough to speak.

"Aw, thanks man, I missed you too, a lot." Hide leaned his forehead against Kaneki's.

Kaneki, surprisingly, was the one to lean in for their first- actual- kiss.

"Is this a king's leadership?" Hide teased against Kaneki's lips.

Kaneki blushed and looked away. "Shut up." He muttered shyly.

"Then I guess this makes me your queen?" Hide grinned.

"No, you're my king." Kaneki smiled sofly.

There were a few beats of silence before Kaneki took in a deep breath and let out in a shaky voice.

"I'm sorry for what I said last night."

Hide looked away but then sighed and held Kaneki's eyes. "Tough luck your majesty, you'll have to earn my forgiveness." Hide teased, but Kaneki already knew it wouldn't be that easy to make it all okay.

"I will, I promise. Just stay with me. Please." Kaneki begged. He looked up in surprise when Hide's hand squeezed his.

"If you do the same."

The meat was salty as they ate it with one hand.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you had fun. Sorry if it had too many mistakes, I will try my best to get to editing this as soon as I can. Have a great day/night!


End file.
